Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one
night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill
told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners
what had happened.
About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with
a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all
ripped and torn.
"What happened to you," asked Bill.
Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his
19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me.
"My God, what did you tell them", asks Clinton.
The driver replied, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the
pig".
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Q : What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
A : They know how many went down on the Titanic.
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Former Vice President Dan Quayle, Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich
and President Bill Clinton are traveling by car together in the Midwest
when a tornado comes along suddenly, whirls them up into the air and
tosses them thousands of yards away. When they finally crawl out from
under their car, they realize that they're in the Land of Oz, so they
decide to go to see the Wizard.
When they finally confront the Wizard, Dan Quayle steps forward first
and says, "I would very much like you to give me a brain."
Newt Gingrich steps forward next and says, "I would very much like you
to give me a heart."
President Clinton glances left and right, then ask, "Where's Dorothy?"
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Q: Why did Clinton quit playing the saxaphone?
A: Because he picked up the whore-monica.
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Q: Bill, Hillary, and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved?
A: The United States of America.
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President Clinton had been walking around the White House and going
to meetings all day with a pair of pink ladies' panties on his arm.
Reporters and staff observed this phenomenon and of course wondered
what he was doing. At an afternoon press conference, one reporter got
brave enough to ask him why he had a pair of ladies' panties on his
arm.
The President replied: "It's the patch; I'm trying to quit."
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Bill Clinton's latest intern was sitting quietly, getting on with
her work, when the President himself popped in,
"Hey, come into the oval room & have a look at my clock!"
"Err, I am not sure if that is such a good idea Mr. President."
"Why not, there's no harm in it, you just have to come into the office
& have a look at my clock."
"No really - I think that it would be best if I didn't."
"Oh Come on - it is just a clock, just pop in and have a look"
"Well, if you insist, but I'll be quick, and I only want to see the
clock."
As they went into the oval office, Clinton closed the door, and to the
intern's astonishment, dropped his trousers, revealing all.
"That's not a clock!" she said.
"Well it will be if you put two hands and a face on it ..."
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Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?
A: They both blew a president out of office!
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| |
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| Top 10 Dirty White House Jobs |
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| 10. "Polishing the Presidential podium"
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| 9. "Unwrapping the Big Mac" |
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| 8. "Taking Buddy for a walk" |
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| 7. "Handling the hotline" |
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| 6. "Vacuuming under the Oval Office desk"
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| 5. "Waxing Air Force One" |
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| 4. "Shaking hands with the French ambassador"
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| 3. "Giving the President an oral briefing"
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| 2. "Taking dictation" |
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| 1. "Polling" |
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| I Suck At My Job |
What Really Goes Down In The White House
|
| Work Hard to Find the Softer
Side of the President |
How I Blew It In Washington
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| Podium Girl |
Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule |
| Secret Services to the President |
Going Back for Gore |
| Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of
Bill Clinton |
Deep Inside The Oval Office |
| The Congressional Study on White House
Intern Positions |
She's Chief of MY Staff! |
| How To Beat Off the Government |
Going Down and Moving Up |
| Members of the Presidential Cabinet |
Me and My Big Mouth. |
