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Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train |
| In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning??" |
| Q: What does a blonde say when
you blow in their ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!" |
| Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better. |
| Q: What did the blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine?" |
| Q: If a blonde and a brunette
are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. |
| A cop stops a blonde woman who
was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?..." "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh! Here it is..." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?..." "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..." The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims: "Oh no, not another breathalyser test!" |
| There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. |
| Q: What's the mating call of the
blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!" |
| Q: What is the mating call of
the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!" |
| Q: What's the first thing a blonde
does after sex? A: Opens the car door. |
| Q: How do blondes turn the light
on after sex ? A: Kick open the car door. |
| Q: Why do blondes wear their hair
up? A: To catch as much as they can that goes over their heads. |
| Q: Why should blondes not be given
coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them. |
| Q: What's the difference between
a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. |
| Q: What does a blonde put behind
her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. |
| Q: Why do blondes wash their hair
in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! |
| Q: How do blonde braincells die
? A: Alone. |
| Q: What do you call a blonde with
half a brain? A: Gifted! |
