Jill Dando jokes


What's red and gathers dust?
Jill's passport.


What's a Jehovah's witness and Jill Dando's Killer have in common?
They both stand on your doorstep and do your head in.


What's the difference between Ruud Gullit's Wife and Jill Dando?
One sleeps with a Gullit in her Bed.


What does a piece of cod and Jill Dando have in common?
They both get battered before lunchtime.


What's the difference between Danny Baker and Jill Dando?
Danny Baker survived the doorstep challenge.


What's the difference between a pint of beer and Jill Dando?
A pint of beer still looks good after you blow off its head.


What does the Kosovo Crisis & a 9mm bullet have in common?
Jill Dando can't stop either of them.


What's the difference between Jill Dando and a black taxi?
A black taxi can take 5 in the back.


What's the emptiest room in Britain?
The one where they'll be holding the auditions for the new Crimewatch UK presenter.


What's the difference between a Dando and a Dodo?
One's a dead bird that used to hang around tropical beaches ...
the other one's a Dodo


What's got more brains than Jill Dando?
Her doorstep!


What does Jill and the Milkman have in common?
They both leave four pints on the doorstep!


Knock Knock
Whose There?
B A N G !

AND NOW, MR ROD HULL


What were Rod Hull's last words?
"Fly! You fucker, fly!"


What does Rod Hull and Emu have in common?
Neither of them can fly


Did you hear about Rod Hull's funeral?
The reception was awful!


Saint Peter to Rod Hull:
"Just think, if you had cable you wouldn't be here right now!"


Why doesn't Emu need Viagra?
Because now his Rod is permanently stiff.


What's the difference between Rod Hull's roof and Vanessa Feltz?
One's very large, covered in slippery green slime and is difficult to get on top of;and the other's Rod Hull's roof.