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ROLL OF HONOURWill medals be struck to reward patriotic citizens who distinguished themselves after Princess Diana's death, as happened after the Falklands? We do hope so. Here are the nominations for those whose conduct went well beyond the call of duty. MOST SELF-RIGHTEOUS TOSH "Readers of the
Mirror know that -- particularly since she started to rebuild her
life two years ago -- we have been almost entirely supportive of her... "True, we are
all accountable, because we did push Princess Diana too far. We wanted
to be there every minute of every day, recording every move she made,
every word she uttered... In the end, Earl Spencer, if we are guilty
of any crime, it is because most of us loved her too much." "Let us hope
TV bosses join the Sun in refusing to use intrusive royal shots."
"The fashionable
journals of liberal opinion -- the very papers which derided Diana in
life-- are busily exploiting her memory." "Mail Leads the
Way in Banning Paparazzi Pictures" "On the day of
the Princess's death, the Daily Telegraph circulated a memo from
the Editor to all staff which read: 'In our coverage of the death of the
Princess of Wales, please bear in mind that what we write will be read
and remembered by her children.' God knows, we frequently fall short of
what we aim at, but we do try, and so do many other newspapers, some national,
some provincial. The tabloids do not." "From here on
in, this paper has had enough. We will never publish pictures of the young
princes William and Harry in private situations again." MOST TEARSTAINED EDITOR "Dear Colleague,
I would like to reiterate my thanks and admiration for everyone's massive
efforts this week, especially with today's early edition. MOST DISCREET FRIEND "I think it was
about ten years ago that A. N. Wilson repeated a private conversation
he had had with the Queen Mother... I'm about to do a Wilson and repeat
a royal but private conversation..." "Private conversations
are, of course, to be kept private, so I will write only of my impressions
of Princess Diana" MOST ABSENT-MINDED MP "Absolutely toe-curling...
I can't account for what the Princess was talking about... It is really
the advanced stages of paranoia." "I'm very impressed
by how many tributes have come from overseas. It's amazing how much she
was held in respect. I greatly admired the way she campaigned against
landmines... I have seen her often with the children and I know how much
she loved them and they loved her... The tabloid press in this country
need to examine their conscience... She had very strong instincts and
I am in no doubt she had great gifts in reaching out to the poor, indisposed
and sick. They are great qualities. She was a great beauty. She was an
icon for her generation..." MOST VERSATILE PUNDIT "The British
public was in love with Diana. Men loved her for obvious reasons. Women
loved her, as has been said many times since she died, because she went
public with many of their concerns... She was, as so many of the cards
and posters and messages on the railings of the palace aver, one of us...
It's as simple and as personal as that. And that is why we weep for ourselves
and for her." "Am I alone in
thinking that the country has momentarily taken leave of its senses? Am
I alone in thinking that there is a total disparity between the feelings
of the mob and the feelings of well-balanced, intelligent people?... Those
who think along these lines have watched with astonishment at the scenes
played out on the streets of London over the past 10 days. We do not begin
to understand why anyone, let alone tens of thousands of people, should
wish to stay up all night in a sleeping bag, or pile flowers 10ft high,
or leave messages to Di and Dodi on every available wall, lamppost and
railing between St James's and Buckingham Palace... Are we really such
babies that we need, or ask for, such figures in our lives?" MOST CONSISTENT NEWSPAPER "The royal family
is in danger of appearing archaic and coldly out of touch. In response
to a tragedy that has pierced Britain to the heart, our monarchy has been
mute. While people queue patiently for hours to place on record just what
Diana meant to them, from the Queen has come not a syllable. She should
have found a way of expressing the nation's sadness." "How cruel we
are... We congratulate ourselves on our own grief for a Princess whom
few of us met, pour pity on her two bereft sons -- and then, in an act
of wholly selfish cruelty, bitterly attack the two people whom those two
young Princes love more than anyone or anything else in their shattered
world. We call their beloved father cold and unfeeling; their beloved
granny stuffy and obsessed with protocol: will this be a comfort
to the two boys for whom we allegedly care?" MOST ACCURATE PREDICTION "I believe that
on formal occasions one should behave with propriety and respect. I'm
utterly certain that there will not be a tear from either Harry or William
at their mother's funeral." "William for
the first time looked utterly defenceless. The tears finally came and
as they sat on the gilt-and-red velvet chairs he kept his protective hand
over his face. His fingers held his trembling mouth in position and wiped
away the tears... Prince Harry's delicate, sweet face finally crumpled.
He cried like a child who was screaming inwardly: I want Mummy back'."
MOST TASTEFUL TRIBUTE Plug lead set.................. £15.12
Distributor cap .................£8.19
First class post & pack..........£4.60
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EVERYONE AT RIMMER BROS WISH TO EXPRESS THEIR PROFOUND
SADNESS AT THE TRAGIC DEATH OF PRINCESS DIANA.
MAY SHE REST IN PEACE.
-- Invoice from Rimmer Bros. of Lincoln, "Quality Parts for English Classics". MOST INGENIOUS MARKETING "Mercedes-Benz.
Engineered to move the human spirit." MOST GENEROUS GESTURE "Dear Colleague,
As many libraries will be closing on Saturday 6th September out of respect
for the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, it is anticipated that you
may not want to charge fines on items for that day... Where fines are
to be waived the operator must be given the enablement to waive fines
in the Utilities/Permissions/Rules menu. (See System Manager 2: Application
Maintenance, Chapter 9: Managing Enablements for details.) In Talis 7
customers can also use Operator Override on the Exceptions List where
available." MOST HEROIC SACRIFICE "As a mark of
the farming community's respect for the funeral of Diana, Princess of
Wales, NFU President Sir David Naish will be suspending all work on his
farm in Newark, Nottinghamshire, between I I am and 12 noon on Saturday
morning during the memorial service at Westminster Abbey. For further
information contact the NFU press office." MOST DIGNIFIED APOLOGY "We apologise
for the Princess Diana Page One headline 'Di Goes Sex Mad' that is still
on the stands in some locations. This issue was locked up last week before
her death and went on sale Friday 29 August 1997. It is currently being
replaced as quickly as we are able with a special 72-page tribute issue:
'A Farewell to the Princess We All Loved... Di -- Her Final Hours'."
THE MOURNING PAPERSCoverage of Princess Diana's death brought out all the finest qualities of the British press, including: BAD TIMING... "Troubled Prince
William will today demand that his mother Princess Diana dump her playboy
lover, Harrods heir Dodi Al-Fayed." "Many
of us feel that there is something missing from our lives today... The
problem extends to some of the cleverest, wealthiest and most attractive
people in the land -- among them Princess Diana." "She [Diana]
seems to relish her role as a martyr. God help her if she ever finds happiness
-- it would make her miserable." "Princess Diana's
press relations are now clearly established. Any publicity is good publicity...
I'm told she and Dodi are made for each other, both having more brass
than brains." "Just when Diana
began to believe that her current romance with likeable playboy Dodi Fayed
had wiped out her past liaisons, a new tape recording is doing the rounds
of Belgravia dinner parties. And this one is hot, hot, hot! Labelled Squidgygate
II, the tape is of a completely different conversation the Princess had
with her sometime beau James Gilbey... I must remember to take it up with
Diana next time we find ourselves on adjacent running machines at our
West London gym." "It's a pity
Gucci don't make designer face zips, then when Princess Diana was on the
verge of opening her ill-informed mouth and causing an international incident
(an increasingly frequent occurrence these days) she could just zip her
trap shut... The Princess, I fear, suffers from the 'Open Gob Before Brain
Engages' syndrome -- a condition which afflicts the trivial and the brain
dead" "Diana has said
publicly that the Tories were hopeless... It always slightly amazes me
how the press picks up on stuff like this as if it were compelling genius
insight of Aristotelian wisdom and Shavian wit, as opposed to the witterings
of a woman who, if her IQ were five points lower, would have to be watered
daily." HUMBUG... "The sight of
a paunchy playboy groping a scantily-dressed Diana must appal and humiliate
Prince William.,. As the mother of two young sons she ought to have more
decorum and sense. She has for many years criticised Prince Charles for
being a distant, undemonstrative father. In the long run he's been the
more responsible parent and certainly inflicted less damage, anguish and
hurt." "Throughout their
childhood she gave her sons endless loving cuddles... She adored her children."
STATEMENTS OF THE OBVIOUS... "How must Charles,
Prince of Wales be feeling in the days after the tragic death of Diana?...
Prince Charles's first feelings, like most people's, will be shock, followed
by sadness... And then his concern will be for his children..." "However the
Prince of Wales broke the news to his sons, his words will inevitably
have started the grief response." "Things will
never be the same again." "One thing is
certain in the aftershock of the death of Diana, and that will be her
lasting impact on the royal family." "It is probably
too early to get the whole thing into perspective. But one thing is clear:
You cannot be a sentient human being and not feel grief and horror at
Diana's death." "It could all
have been so different" AVOIDING THE QUESTION "There are a
number of unanswered questions about the exact behaviour of French photographers
and why Diana's car was going at 100 mph in a 30 mph limit... But today
is not the time to analyse or discuss these important issues." "The question of privacy will not go away for the British press -- nor, moreover, for the media as a whole... But these are issues for another day." -- Editorial, Daily Mail. "Who is to blame?
Why do we feel 'so great a sense of loss? What will be the implications?...
Such problems are for tomorrow, not today." RAMPANT EGOS... "She knew that
whatever I said and whatever I might write it would always be what I thought,
and sometimes, necessarily, it would be critical. So she trusted me and
revealed herself constantly..." "Some of us --
myself included -- were fortunate enough to meet her... " "To meet her,
to talk to her, was to enjoy the company of a woman whose charisma was
quite extraordinary... I remember how at lunch one day she suddenly stopped
talking as her eyes glazed and her mind turned in on itself. It only lasted
for a moment but it was disquieting while it lasted. It provided a disconcerting
glimpse into the insecurities with which she was never truly able to come
to terms." "After her divorce
Diana felt able to invite to lunch in Kensington Palace various friends
and advisers. I was one who fell into that category." "Diana, Princess
of Wales, is dead. I can't believe I've written those words, but as I
do so I am crying... She was not a friend as such. Our relationship was
just professional. But it went a lot deeper than this... Our lives were
inextricably intertwined." "Diana, the most
famous face of the century. Diana, the woman whom [sic] over 17 years
had become a friend" "Everyone talked
about Diana's kindness... Perhaps it's a little soon but I was sad no
one mentioned what an amusing character she was, too. At a small private
lunch I attended..." "I had lunch
at Kensington Palace after she became semi-detached, in the early Nineties.
It was wildly exciting..." "The House of
Windsor has never really recovered from the revelations in Andrew Morton's
seminal book Diana. Her True Story, which I serialised in the Sunday
Times in 1992." ...AND CLICHÉS GALORE "A Nation Weeps
for its Queen of Hearts" "Queen of All
Our Hearts." "Like a candle
in the wind, the flame that burned so bright will burn no more."
"Frailty, the
apparent brave frailty of a candle in the wind, was always Diana's supreme
public quality." "There, in a
stark, concrete underpass, lie the tangled remains of a Mercedes limousine.
That so glamorous a life should be ended in such a mundane place is the
greatest of ironies. Yet it was here, beneath the streets of Paris, that
a light to millions around the world was extinguished." "A beacon of
light has been extinguished." "A radiant, potently
attractive light has been snuffed out, leaving us stunned and grieving."
"A comet streaked
across the sky of public life and entranced the world." "She is the brightest
star in the sky tonight." "A bright star
has suddenly been blotted out." "She was 'a gem
of purest ray serene'." "It is a light
which we will never see again." "She was the
butterfly who shone with the light of glamour which illuminated all our
lives." |
