A long time ago, in country far, far away.George Lucas made some films or summit.

You can if you so desire, pick a section and go straight to it, on this page.
THE FIRST BIT IS LINES SAMUEL L JACKSON SHOULD HAVE SAID IN THE PHANTOM'S PENIS, SORRY MENACE.
THE SECOND BIT IS HOW THE PHANTOMS PENIS, SORRY AGAIN, MENACE SHOULD HAVE BEGUN
CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE TOP TEN SEXUAL INNUENDOS FROM THE STAR WARS TRILOGY

As many of you probably know, Samuel L. Jackson plays Jedi Master Mace Windu in the new Star Wars prequel. What follows is a list of the top 14 things the world wishes they heard him say in that movie.
14. You can stick your well laid Death Star plans up your well laid  ass.
13. You must go to Dagobah, where you will be taught by Yoda, the sly, sweet motherfucker who taught me this shit.
12. That's no moon, asshole -- that's a fucking space station!
11. I don't care how good you say they are. I ain't fightin' alongside no fuck-ass teddy bears.
10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the motherfuckin' droids you're lookin' for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively  have to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room... accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. I ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. "What?!" ain't no planet I've ever heard of. Do they speak Bocce  on What?
4. You sendin' Fett? Shit, Hutt, that's all you had to say.
3. Yeah, Chewie Rocky Horror's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand my lightsaber... it's the one that says "Bad Mother Fucker."

The opening speech, the prologue if you will
The title music finishes, the text has rolled off the screen to reveal a galaxy, the camera pans down to a planet:
A man in brown robes is running down a street in a desert town  (Cantina) chased by several stormtroopers. He trips over a rock, rolls on the floor and Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan MacGregor) says:
"Choose the force. Choose a side, Choose a jedi knight, Choose a teacher,  choose a fucking big death star, choose star destroyers, blasters,  tie-fighters and a light sabre.
Choose a black suit, black helmet and  boots. Choose a loan from Jabba the Hut. Choose a philosophy.
Choose an Emperor. Choose a planet with matching moon.
Choose a three  planet system in the Dromoda system and fucking enslave them.
Choose the Rebels and wondering who the fuck you are kneeling by the Emperor on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting next to that Emperor watching whole planets being enslaved in mind-control, force-crushing battles, stuffing fucking replacement parts into your body.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a  miserable death star, nothing more then a dictator, to the selfish,   evil fucked up brats who fight for you.
Choose a future. I chose something else;
I chose the dark side."

Top 10 sexually tilted lines from Star Wars:
1. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts kid.
2. Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough.
3. Look at the size of that thing!
4. Sorry about the mess...
5. You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!
6. Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper.
7. You've got something jammed in here real good.
8. Put that thing away before you get us all killed.
9. Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
10. Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!

Top 10 sexually tiltes lines from The Empire Strikes Back
1. And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.
2. Possible he came through the south entrance.
3. I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that huh kid.
4. Hurry up, Golden-rod!
5. That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual for a while.
6. But now we must eat. Come, good food, Come...
7. Control, control. You must learn control!
8. There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
9. Size matters not, judge me by my size do you?
10. I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.
Top 10 sexually tiltes lines from Return of the Jedi
1. Rise, my friend.
2. Open the back door.
3. Hey, point that thing somewhere else.
4. Its just a dead animal.
5. Not bad for a little furball.
6. Come here, I won't hurt you. You want something to eat.
7. How can they be jamming us if they don't know we're coming.
8. Keep on that one, I'll take these two.
9. I want you to take her. I mean it, take her.
10. I don't think the Empire had wookies in mind when they made her Chewie.