Things we learn from the Movies
 
 
25. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
 24. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
14. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
13. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
11. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.
10. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned own three days before their retirement.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

Things we learn from halloween movies

20. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

19. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
18. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.
17. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
15. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
13. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
12. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits. JUST GET OUT!
10. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief, GET THE HELL OUT!
9. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
8. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.
7. Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!
6. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.
5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
4. Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!
3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
2. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead before pumping a few rounds into the head just to be safe.
1. Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.